Finding Mr. Right
We’ve all done it; searched for years to find Mr. Right. As girls, we start looking in high school as soon as our hormones kick in. The hunt continues through college, the work place and if you’re a single mom your kid’s soccer and baseball games. It never stops. You say you’re not looking but deep inside you know you are. Then you get desperate, your dream man hasn’t come along and you settle for Mr. Second Best. Or you marry Mr. Good for the Moment. I am here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way.
Think about it, who is your Mr. Right? How would you know him if you ran into him? For all you know he may be right under your nose or about to move into the house or apartment next door.
I have this friend named Kathy. Well, she’s been in and out of relationships for as long as I’ve known her and we’ve been friends since high school. One day I get this email, she’s getting married. Ok, this is Kathy’s fourth marriage and I’m concerned. True I haven’t seen her for a few years and even though we’ve kept in touch she’s never mentioned this guy. Now she’s going to marry him?
So I call her, “Kathy, what are you doing? Who is this guy?” She makes me promise not to laugh as she tells me this story.
About two years before, she was down in the dumps because she just broke up with her boyfriend. I remember because we had a lot of late night ice cream fests over that one. Well another friend of ours told Kathy about this idea she got from a friend of a friend. It’s called, “Making a List.”
I know, if you’re anything like me, the idea making a list sounds silly and corny and just a little too simple. Kathy confided that at the time she would have done just about anything to not go through another bad breakup. So our friend told her that she made a list and four months later she met her Mr. Right.
It’s so true! His name is Tom and I had dinner with the two of them last week. Anyway, the main thing our friend told Kathy is that making the list does two things. It helps you to know who your Mr. Right is and helps you to stay away from the guys who aren’t.
So Kathy made her list. She put on it everything she ever wanted in a partner, everything from his having a steady income and good personality to his being over 40 and younger than 50. Kathy said her list contained 15 characteristics that were all equally important to her. She promised herself that if her Mr. Right didn’t exist she was never going to settle for Mr. Second Best.
Over a period of six months she met a few guys, what kept her from making another mistake? If a guy interested her she would look at her list. If he didn’t have all 15 characteristics, she politely told him to go away. Six months later she meets this guy, Brad, at a barbeque. They hit it off right away. The following week they meet for coffee. Two weeks later they went out to dinner. Check this out; they are both really into classic movies and Japanese food so they catch the Bogart festival at the Bijou and have dinner at Benihana. Kathy and Brad become inseparable and 18 months later, they’re getting married!
I met Brad at their wedding and instantly knew he was Kathy’s Mr. Right. After all these years, they are still madly in love, even when Kathy burns the lasagna or needs a night out with the girls.
One night I was over at Kathy and Brad’s after a particularly bad breakup with my boyfriend. That’s when I decided to take the plunge. I’m going to make my list. Over the kitchen table, Kathy tells me how to do it.
1) Clear your head, this is really important
2) Think about your dream man, your Mr. Right
3) List every single characteristic you want in your perfect partner; be specific.
Don’t worry if your list is too long
4) Look over your list again and make any changes you want to make
5) If necessary, re-write your list
6) Imagine yourself being with your Mr. Right, think about it a lot!
7) Put your list in a safe place where you can easily refer to it any time
8) Use the list; whenever you think a guy might be Mr. Right look at the list.
If he isn’t everything on the list, he’s not Mr. Right.
9) Don’t worry and hold true to you, Mr. Right is coming, I promise
How do I know Mr. Right is coming? Three months after I made my list I met this great guy online. A year later he flies up from Australia to meet me in person. We’ve been married for four years now and he is everything on my list!
I.L. Foster
